Have you recently gotten engaged?
Well congrats to you! Getting engaged is one of the most exciting whirlwind times in your entire life. It can be happy, hectic, stressful and downright exciting as you navigate these next few months. In this process of what we call wedding planning, there are a few things you should remember…
You and your fiancee are a team
I know that can sound kind of funny but trust me, you will need to remember this. At 2am the night before the seating chart is due to the venue and your are arguing about why Aunt Beatie can’t sit at the same table as Uncle Frank and Suzie’s two kids should have never been invited because they are little terrors, you will need to remind yourselves…you and your fiancee are a team.
I can vividly remember during my own wedding planning when I so graciously handed over the task of choosing the rental car company for our getaway car to my fiancee. I probably said something like, “Baby, if you could help me with finding the right getaway vehicle for the reception, I would greatly appreciate it.” What I really meant was “Here is something to do so I am not so overwhelmed. I am dying over here!!” I must have asked him once every other day for the next two weeks if we had a car yet. He finally looked at me and angrily said, “I am handling this.”
Geez, ok. Now I couldn’t ask anymore. But I wanted the assurance it was being taken care of and it wasn’t going to fall through the cracks. Hindsight, shoulda had a wedding planner. In the moment, I needed to remind myself that me and my fiancee are a team. What I really wanted to do was kick his pants into action! LOL
Weddings last a day, marriage lasts a lifetime (if you do it right!)
It is so easy to obsess over the perfect Pinterest inspired event. It can be very hard to let go of the desire for the couture wedding gown with the perfect pair of heels. It is difficult to tell yourself that you don’t need the 10 piece band with the full stage when you know they are truly the best. It’s a downright struggle to realize you don’t need the barn dripping in flowers from floor to ceiling. I know!
I am in the wedding industry and I can’t tell you the amount of times I have watched brides and grooms completely blow their budget over something that really didn’t matter in the long run. You know what? It is important to heave a beautiful wedding. It is important to have a fun time with you and your guests and to take home some wonderful memories after it is all said and done.
But remember this…weddings only last one day.
That’s right…one day. Every ounce of energy and planning and money and time you spend is all for one day. What are you investing in the lifetime part? The marriage part? Don’t forget that you are still learning your spouse-to-be. You should still be dating them, enjoying them, resolving conflict with them, loving them. This wedding thing is so so important, but your life together is what is going to come from this. Make it a priority!
Live in the moment
It’s so easy to begin dreaming of what will be. How many kids will you have? What career path with you end up on? Where will you both decide to live? There is so much dreaming to be done and it can be fun to dream with one another. I just caution you to not get too caught up in the dreaming that you forget living in the moment. You are only engaged to this individual once. This time is so special and as you head towards marriage, I encourage you to relish the moments with one another.
Never stop dating. Now, that can sound odd, but here is what I mean by that. Someone once shared with me that they often go on first dates with their husband after 15 years of being married. What on earth?! I couldn’t figure out what they were talking about. Basically, what they do is every so often, they ask one another on a first date. It is off limits to talk about daily life (kids, pets, finances, etc.). What they spend the date doing is re-exploring one another. They look for little things they may not know or may have forgotten about their significant other and explore that for the date. It serves to bring them closer together and keeps their marriage fresh and fun.
Never stop learning one another. You may think you have one another pegged pretty well right now and that may be true. But, the beauty of this is that humans evolve and change as we age. We are constantly forming opinions, coming up with new ideas and changing our outlook on life. Choose to keep growing closer to one another by constantly discovering the changes in your life partner and learning new things about them. I promise you won’t be disappointed with the outcome!
*as you plan your big day, set aside some time for a quick date with your partner. Check out this super fun list of 50 date ideas to get you brainstorming: https://www.theknot.com/content/date-ideas